


Friends for a Year

by txgrerra



Category: Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral (2018)
Genre: Angst, I dunno I'm sorry about this?, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Sexual Assault, based on personal experience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 15:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16244075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/txgrerra/pseuds/txgrerra
Summary: Joven and Vicente have been friends for a year. But were they, really?





	Friends for a Year

**Author's Note:**

> Somewhat based on personal experience. I wanted to let some tension out. I deeply apologize to Jovente as I used them for this. The sexual assault mentioned is not as bad as other experiences, but to the right person, it is traumatizing and leaves them always in a state of vigilance on when they'll be attacked once again by the feeling of utter self-hatred. I honestly don't know why I wrote this, but maybe because I just wanted to let it out as my attacks are becoming more frequent. Thanks for reading in advance.

Joven and Vicente have been friends for a year.

They first met at the office – Vicente was the new guy, recommended in the company by his friends and Joven’s workmates Gregorio (otherwise called as “Goyo”) and his older brother Julian. Those three have apparently been friends since they were kids, and Vicente was just the right person to fill in an empty gap in the team.

The first month that Vicente was there, it looked as if he was putting stakes on Clara – one of the few girls in their office that wasn’t yet taken. Clara, however, hardly paid attention to his advances and only interacted with him like any normal workmate would. That’s when he slowly transferred to Joven.

Joven was already somewhat of a friend to Goyo and Julian, and was close to the superiors Francisco (Paco) and Eduardo (Rusca). That made it easy for Vicente to find an excuse to talk to him.

First it was just friendly things. Asking for small favors. Asking about work. Their jobs were connected to each other, after all – Vicente worked as an account manager, and Joven was a writer. In a lot of ways, Vicente was his superior, but Joven had been in the company longer, so Vicente found this the right opportunity to get to know the guy better.

Then came the more personal questions. The early morning to late night conversations. Vicente even invited Joven out – a dinner, just the two of them, his treat. First payday for Vicente, and he managed to convince Joven to say yes. They escaped the prying eyes of their workmates by leaving the office at different intervals, then headed off to a nearby fastfood chain.

Clara saw them there, but she kept it a secret, for Joven’s sake. And because she had the inkling that they didn’t want anybody to know.

It was funny – they talked not about themselves, but of their mutual friends. It made Joven laugh to himself hours after they separated – was that even a normal thing to discuss?

Second dinner out with just the two of them, and Vicente somehow managed to pry more personal details about Joven. He’s even gotten to the point that he managed to make the bespectacled young man to disclose his less-than-favorable high school experiences, being bullied for being a nerd. Joven almost felt scared about it, not because Vicente managed to coax him into talking about things he didn’t like to even remember, but because it was so easy for Joven to trust him about it. Even his parents were kept in the dark for years before Joven finally admitted something to them, but Vicente already managed to make him tell just a month into getting to know each other.

Then Vicente changed.

It started with one message. _“’Wag mo muna akong imessage sa Messenger.”_

At first, it didn’t bother Joven – maybe he was busy, because Vicente had a part-time gig as a guitarist for a band. So he laid off on messaging Vicente outside of work. Until he mistakenly sent a message to Vicente when he meant to send it to Remedios and he got blocked for a few hours.

_“Okay,”_ Joven thought bitterly, _“hindi pa pala ako pwede magmessage.”_

He missed the good mornings and good nights. The _“Kain ka na!”_ and _“Ingat ka papasok!”_. The random selfies Vicente sends. The calls that spanned hours. But Joven never asked for any of it back, because maybe he’d just annoy Vicente. Who was he, anyway, to ask such things from a man he’s only known for two months?

 

Joven and Vicente have been friends for a year.

That’s what it seems like, anyway.

Joven avoided Vicente like the plague and only spoke to him when necessary at work. He hardly talked to him about personal things unless Vicente asked. He also only went out with him when everyone else was coming as well, and he made sure he was well-protected by Remedios, Felicidad, and Clara (who all knew the situation). Vicente reached out to him, but Joven was harder to pry this time around.

Or maybe that’s what he wanted to believe, because Remedios still scolded him about caring for Vicente when he went to work sick and Joven almost cried in frustration at Vicente’s stubbornness. Joven and Vicente still sent long, deep messages to each other when talking about work – life philosophies, plans for the future, stuff that Remedios was sure were signs of him still holding lingering feelings that shouldn’t even be there.

Joven falls in love way too easily when he feels trust, she surmised. Because Vicente matched his language of love.

He loosened up on the awkwardness after a few months, after accepting that he really did feel something for Vicente and that it was all over for both of them – whatever it was, anyway. He was a friend, and friends don’t avoid each other.

Sure, Vicente’s smile still made butterflies appear in his stomach and he still found himself gravitating towards his space during company celebrations, but that was normal, he told himself. That’s just normal behavior from someone who fell in love (infatuation?) with someone who’s still around you. Besides, their team was small, so there was no way to not find himself beside Vicente at the most random moments.

The small moments of teasing and smiles came back to the both of them. Teasings about each other, pretending like they held feelings for each other. Joven doesn’t even know how he’s managing to tease Vicente of jealousy when he reacts to Joven being shipped towards Paco, but it happens. Vicente retaliates, anyway, so it’s fair game.

The three girls were still worried, but they listened to Joven when he said that he was okay and he’s guarded his fragile heart this time. It’s fine. He was fine. They were fine.

 

Joven and Vicente have been friends for a year.

Or so Joven told himself.

Vicente had been absent for a few days already due to familial errands. There were important documents waiting for him on his desk, and they needed immediate attention because it was needed for a client that Vicente was meeting the next Monday and he won’t have time to swing by the office to get them – it was a Saturday tomorrow, after all.

Against his will, Joven texted him about the documents, and after some messy negotiations between him, Goyo, Julian, and Rusca, it fell onto him to give the documents to Vicente, who told him that he’ll swing by the office with his car since his sister asked him to drop her off at a bar near their workplace.

“Tara, hatid na kita sa inyo. Nakakahiya, ikaw pa pinakuha ko nito.”

Joven should’ve refused, but it was Vicente, and he realized months ago that he was always weak to Vicente’s requests. Side-effect of previous feelings he was mostly over with at this point.

“Sige.”

On the way back to Joven’s house (Vicente knew the way like the back of his hand as he’s driven Joven home plenty of times before), they were chatting like normal. Vicente disclosed that he’s had three bottles of beer because he was trying to fall asleep before his sister nagged him to drive her to the bar. He was buzzed, but not drunk, he claimed. After all, he could still drive perfectly straight.

Somehow, they ended up in one of their teasing tirades, and Joven even implied playfully (to himself) that the reason Vicente offered to drive him home was because he missed Joven.

Vicente heard him muttering something, but not what Joven said. Naturally, Vicente asked what he was saying under his breath, a teasing tone somewhat mixed in his words, and Joven denied ever saying anything in a panicked voice mixed with a degree of mischief he never expected from himself.

Annoyed that Joven was not being direct with him, Vicente repeated the question multiple times during the rest of their trip, even playfully threatening Joven that he’ll stop the car at the middle of the road until he admitted what he was whispering to himself. Joven kept denying the allegations, determined to not make Vicente aware of his sudden shot at flirtiness.

Vicente eventually made good on his promise, stopping the vehicle at the side of the road just outside Joven’s subdivision. It was the dead of the night, with no one outside for miles, but it made Joven a tad worried as he didn’t like being seen by any adult there with another guy – rumors spread too quickly.

“Sabihin mo nga kasi kung ano yung sinabi mo kanina,” Vicente commanded as he cornered Joven, his arm slung over his passenger’s shoulder.

Joven didn’t flinch – he often got hugged by the girls so physical contact wasn’t new to him, but he did shrink into himself precisely because it was Vicente. He wasn’t Remedios or Felicidad or Clara or even Rusca or Paco. Vicente’s never held him this close before and –

“Wala nga akong sinabi—”

Joven found himself being kissed by Vicente.

It didn’t register to him immediately that he was being kissed by the other male, but the lips that languidly moved against his, coaxing him to respond, was hard to ignore. It was soft. Plump. Nothing like Joven ever experienced… well, because it was his first kiss, too.

But even if it was Vicente, it scared him, too.

He wanted to be kissed like this, by Vicente, but he was so scared that it wasn’t something he ever felt that Vicente would do to him. They were friends. He trusted Vicente.

It also scared him how much he wanted it. Stupid leftover feelings.

It also scared him that Vicente didn’t listen to him. He wanted to go home. His parents would be worried that he was running late. He felt scared that he was in that car, being kissed by a guy he liked, but it felt so fucking wrong.

But his body didn’t listen to him. And Joven hated it, because his mind screamed at him that everything about it was wrong, that he shouldn’t be letting someone take advantage of his trust and vulnerability at that moment. But his fragile heart and disobedient body urged him to continue kissing back, however inexperienced he was.

He couldn’t sleep that night.

Monday came and Vicente was out on an early meeting. Joven wanted to talk to him about what happened, because he wanted to know why. Why Vicente did it.

Tuesday was free, but Vicente had a gig after work, and Joven lost another chance.

Wednesday, he couldn’t take it anymore. He called Vicente before leaving for work.

“Ano nga ulit yung gusto mong pag-usapan?”

“… may tatlo akong tanong.”

“Ano yun?”

Joven exhaled shakily.

“Totoo ba yun? Yung nangyari nung Friday?”

“… ‘di ko alam.”

Joven laughed. “Ako rin eh. Naninigurado lang.”

Bullshit, it was real. Joven could still remember the feeling of Vicente’s strong arms not letting go of his waist even if Joven repeatedly told him to take him home.

“B-Bakit mo ginawa yun?”

“Sabi ko naman sa’yo. Nakainom ako ‘nun. Tsaka may mga kasama ako nung gabi na ‘yun, mga tropa ko. Nagiinuman kami. Tapos may ecstasy pala yung ininom namin, sinabi lang nila sa’kin nung Sabado,” Vicente explained, sounding annoyed.

Joven could feel the tears form. It wasn’t what Vicente told him that night. He said he was drinking and watching a movie alone so he could fall asleep faster. He didn’t know what to believe now.

“Ano… Ano ba tayo?”

“Magkaibigan.”

“Ah,” Joven laughed, though he wasn’t sure why. “Ganun ba?”

He wanted to stop. He wanted to stop talking at that moment, but words just started to spill from his mouth without care.

“Magkaibigan pala tayo. Sige… pero pwedeng favor?”

“Ano yun?” Wow, he sounds like he didn’t even care.

“Please… please ‘wag mo na akong lapitan. ‘Wag ka nang tumabi sa’kin. ‘Wag mo na ‘kong asar-asarin kasi gusto pa rin kita.”

The pain and fear in his heart finally burst. He couldn’t believe that Vicente – someone he trusted due to their year-long friendship, would do something like that to him. It was by no means as worse as it gets, but it was what it is. Vicente forced him. He wouldn’t let Joven go even if he repeatedly asked to be taken home. For Vicente to stop. He felt so fucking _**dirty**_ that he let it happen to him.

That his body **_fucking wanted it like a fucking thirsty, deprived piece of trash_**.

 _ **That he was asking for it because got into that stupid fucking car and he didn’t tell Vicente what he said**_.

That he trusted Vicente so wholeheartedly and this is where it took him.

Crying so hard early in the morning, already running late for work.

“So gusto mo na ‘wag na kitang pansinin? Na lumayo na ‘ko sa’yo?” Vicente sounded angry, like he was being inconvenienced.

“H-Hindi! Uhh, ‘wag na. Kaya ko ‘to. ‘Pag ‘di ko kinaya, saka kita sasabihan. Pero kilala mo naman ako, kaya ko lahat ng gustuhin kong kayanin.” Joven wasn’t even sure why he was saying all those things. “B-Basta give me time muna. Kasi hinalikan mo ‘ko at sobrang naapektuhan ako dun.”

Vicente sighed angrily at the other end. “Sorry, okay? Sorry. Sorry kung nahalikan kita. Lasing nga kasi ako nun.”

_“Hindi man lang sincere. Napilitan siyang mag-sorry.”_ Joven bitterly realized.

“O-Okay lang. ‘Wag mo nang isipin yun. Nangyari na eh. Basta tutuparin ko na lang yung pinangako ko sa’yo nun.” He didn’t know if Vicente remembered, but he made Joven promise to never be awkward with him again and to never tell their workmates and Joven’s friends what happened. Joven said yes.

“Sige. See you sa office.”

“See you.”

He knew he promised, but Remedios already knew, anyway. Joven told her about it Saturday afternoon. He needed an outlet for the pain and the god-awful twisting in his stomach and the urge to _hurt himself so fucking bad until it bled and scarred him all over_ because he couldn’t cry his hurt out any further, and he knew she was waiting for an update.

He really didn’t care at this point.

“Hello, Remy?”

 

Joven and Vicente have been friends for a year.

But maybe it was all one big lie.

 


End file.
